• Being a mom,  Being an MD,  Thoughts

    It’s Okay Not to Be Okay (English Version)

    Indonesian version please click here. I am very honored to get good responses on my last posting about mental health in the occasion of world mental health day a couple days ago. My non-Indonesian speaking friends have been asking me, why I only wrote my last post in Indonesian. Since I also want to share my story with my non-Indonesian speaking friends and readers, here it is 🙂 A lot of friends inspired me to write down my very personal experience with burn out and how I finally decided to get a psychotherapy in Germany. Before I begin, I must warn you that this post will be pretty long. But…

  • Being an MD,  Life story,  Post in Indonesian,  Thoughts

    It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

    English version please click here. Karena ternyata banyak yang merespons post terakhir saya tentang kesehatan mental beberapa hari lalu, saya jadi pengen berbagi tentang pengalaman bagaimana akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk menjalani psikoterapi dengan seorang psikolog di Jerman. Karena postingan ini akan panjang, saya akan bagi ke dalam beberapa bagian: Apa sebenarnya definisi „burn out“ dan pengalaman pribadi saya mengalami „burn out“. Bagaimana prosedur terbaik untuk mendapatkan terapi yang tepat, khususnya untuk teman – teman di negara Jerman. Prosedur pendukung di tempat kerja pasca psikoterapi: rekomendasi saya terkait dengan profesi saya sebagai dokter kesehatan tenaga kerja. Keinginan untuk menulis tentang hal ini sebenarnya sudah terpendam lama, karena banyak teman atau kenalan…

  • Being an MD

    A Piece of Thought on World Mental Health Day

    I remember exactly that this time around two years ago I was struggling with a burn out and a depressive episode. Being a physician myself I saw these cases almost daily. Until I experienced it on my own, I actually never realized what kind of impacts this disease has over someone, his/her life and his/her surroundings.   One of the best decisions I have made in my life was to pick up the phone and reach out for a professional help.    I took a time out, had a structured conversation with a psychotherapist, spoke out and phrased all of the disturbing factors.    The most important of all was…

  • Being an MD,  Life story,  Thoughts

    From MD to Mommy: A Journey from Nephrology to Occupational Health..

    A lot of my indonesian friends have asked me, what I actually do as an occupational consultant/physician. In this post I would like to share my experience as an occupational physician. I’ve been knowing some Indonesian MD colleagues who are interested in taking specializations in Germany, since Germany is lacking of MDs these days. A lot of indonesian MDs want to do their residency either in the internal medicine or surgery. But by writing this post, I would like to introduce another possibility which is also just as interesting! While writing this, I fully realize that this post isn’t going to be so easy to write. I am trying to…

  • Being an MD,  Life story,  Thoughts

    The pursuit of happiness (3): the beauty of deceleration.

    I was taking a break. When writing, that was supposed to ease my mind, was becoming too exhausting and demanding, I had to stop. So I stopped.. for a while. And now here I am again.   I remembered the first session, how my therapist asked me,”what brings you here? Tell me what has been bothering you”. The room was warm and cozy, her voice was so calm and the atmosphere so peacefully silent. And suddenly the dam broke and my words flushed uncontrollably. She just listened. And after I was finished, she said,”I’m so glad that you are here. I bet it wasn’t easy to let your guard down…

  • Being an MD,  Fashion,  Life story,  Thoughts

    Celine – A thought and a redefinition.

    About a Celine bag. It was winter 2016, precisely on the beginning of January 2016. I was with Clemens in Berlin to celebrate my 30th birthday and the new year. We went to ballet, watching Swan Lake in Friedrichstadt-Palast. We were in Berlin to make my dream come true. My dream was to buy a branded bag as I turned 30. It was set in my head. I had already saved money since I had started to work. It was set in my head, that by the age of 30 I wanted to have a bag, either a Celine or a Chanel bag. As a monument of success. Well I…

  • Being an MD,  Culture,  Life story,  Thoughts

    The pursuit of happiness (2): New Year’s Resolution: Do more of what makes you happy!

    It was not easy making the phone calls to get a psychologist. My pride was hurt, deeply. At some point I tried to tell myself, even physicians get burn out and depressive phases. That is a common secret. And even if you think -as a physician- you know what you are having, there are times when you have to realize that you can’t treat yourself. But it is always easier saying than doing. Just in front of the chair in my therapist’s office, there is a big framed picture with this motto “DO MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY”. I then decided to write and make documentations about things that make me happy,…

  • Being an MD,  Life story,  Thoughts

    The pursuit of happiness (1): burning out and crashing down.

    This is a very personal story. I wasn’t sure to publish this note. But after some years of practicing medicine I realized, that there are so many physicians out there who might be in the same trouble.. It is no longer a secret, that health care jobs are associated with psychological problems and that there are far more cases than the published numbers. I would write this story in multiple parts, because otherwise it would be too long and boring. I do hope, that this story doesn’t end here.. Because I still believe, that as long as it not good, it is not the end yet. Writing has helped me…

  • Being an MD,  Life story,  Photography,  Travel

    Nürnberg: the first impressions of our new home

    In a blink.. suddenly it is the end of the year. All of the sudden, we have now spent almost 6 months in Nürnberg. I still can’t believe, that my husband and I have left Hannover for over 2 years already. I can’t believe that I actually HAD the heart of leaving Hannover. Well the capital of Niedersachsen will always take a big part of my heart. But I have to admit, that ever since I have been living in Nürnberg, I have grown to love this beautiful city more each day. The perfect size, the historical buildings and monuments, the rich history, the Lebkuchen, the relative vicinity to all of those…

  • Being an MD,  Culture,  Life story,  Thoughts

    Deutsche Sprache: eine Hassliebe aus meiner persönlichen Sicht

    How to learn German in one year! I wish I could give some tips of how to learn German in 30 days.. but unfortunately I can’t.. Instead, I will share with you, how I’ve been struggling with this wonderful yet difficult language. This post is dedicated for all fellows, who are struggling to learn German. This time I’d write in German (CAVE: this text might contain many grammatical mistakes, please understand). Click here for the English text! Ich weiß ganz genau, wie verdammt schwierig die deutsche Sprache ist. Seit ungefähr 13 Jahren bin ich dabei, diese tolle Sprache zu 100%-ig zu meistern und es gelingt mir leider immer noch nicht.…