• Being a mom,  Being an MD,  Thoughts

    It’s Okay Not to Be Okay (English Version)

    Indonesian version please click here. I am very honored to get good responses on my last posting about mental health in the occasion of world mental health day a couple days ago. My non-Indonesian speaking friends have been asking me, why I only wrote my last post in Indonesian. Since I also want to share my story with my non-Indonesian speaking friends and readers, here it is 🙂 A lot of friends inspired me to write down my very personal experience with burn out and how I finally decided to get a psychotherapy in Germany. Before I begin, I must warn you that this post will be pretty long. But…

  • Being an MD,  Life story,  Post in Indonesian,  Thoughts

    It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

    English version please click here. Karena ternyata banyak yang merespons post terakhir saya tentang kesehatan mental beberapa hari lalu, saya jadi pengen berbagi tentang pengalaman bagaimana akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk menjalani psikoterapi dengan seorang psikolog di Jerman. Karena postingan ini akan panjang, saya akan bagi ke dalam beberapa bagian: Apa sebenarnya definisi „burn out“ dan pengalaman pribadi saya mengalami „burn out“. Bagaimana prosedur terbaik untuk mendapatkan terapi yang tepat, khususnya untuk teman – teman di negara Jerman. Prosedur pendukung di tempat kerja pasca psikoterapi: rekomendasi saya terkait dengan profesi saya sebagai dokter kesehatan tenaga kerja. Keinginan untuk menulis tentang hal ini sebenarnya sudah terpendam lama, karena banyak teman atau kenalan…

  • Being a mom,  Thoughts

    Mommy in Doubt: Am I Over Spoiling My Baby?

    I was somewhat thrown today. That’s when I realized, how fragile I am, now that I am a mother. Every judgement about my baby is somehow a direct offense to me. Today we had our routine pediatrician check up. The appointment was very early. Aurélie usually wakes up a little late, because she goes to bed rather late. We have this kind of rhythm, because we want the little one to spend some quality time with her dad before she goes to bed. Because of the very early appointment I had to wake up Aurélie. And you know the sayings..“You don’t wake up sleeping babies“. She was surprisingly in a…

  • Being a mom,  Post in Indonesian,  Thoughts

    Curhatan emak – emak : uncensored ;)

    Hari ini tiba – tiba ingin menulis dalam bahasa Indonesia.. Sudah lama sekali gak menulis dalam bahasa Indonesia, jadi kalau canggung bahasanya maafkan yaa 🙂 Menjadi ibu rumah tangga sebenernya sesuatu yang benar – benar saya nikmati, tapi hari ini kok rasanya lelah sekali ya.. Tidak terasa sudah hampir 6 bulan saya tinggal di rumah untuk mengurus anak bayi saya 24 jam sehari. Sebenernya sih saya sama sekali tidak merindukan pekerjaan. Kemarin sempat berbicara dengan bos yang sudah menanti – nanti kembalinya saya ke tempat kerja, saya makin galau. Semakin grogi memikirkan kalau nanti di bulan September saya harus menitipkan Aurélie di tempat penitipan anak 6 – 8 jam sehari..…

  • Being an MD,  Life story,  Thoughts

    From MD to Mommy: A Journey from Nephrology to Occupational Health..

    A lot of my indonesian friends have asked me, what I actually do as an occupational consultant/physician. In this post I would like to share my experience as an occupational physician. I’ve been knowing some Indonesian MD colleagues who are interested in taking specializations in Germany, since Germany is lacking of MDs these days. A lot of indonesian MDs want to do their residency either in the internal medicine or surgery. But by writing this post, I would like to introduce another possibility which is also just as interesting! While writing this, I fully realize that this post isn’t going to be so easy to write. I am trying to…

  • Life story,  Thoughts

    A Guide to Learn German in 365 Days (English Version)

    How to learn German in one year! I wish I could give some tips of how to learn German in 30 days.. but unfortunately I can’t.. Instead, I will share with you, how I’ve been struggling with this wonderful yet difficult language. This post is dedicated for all fellows, who are struggling to learn German. I know exactly how notably difficult the German language is. I have been struggling to master this language since about 13 years and I haven’t really managed to do so. I’ve already written in my earlier post, what kind of difficulties I had to overcome within my first years of study (and that still happened although…

  • Being a mom,  Thoughts

    Mommy on contemplation: when sleeping ritual is successful but a me-time suddenly doesn’t seem so necessary

    It’s almost 10 p.m. now and Aurélie has been sleeping. Clemens is on his ski trip with his clique and suddenly I feel so lonely. This is actually a perfect chance for a me-time..or for Netflix-binge. But I suddenly don’t feel like it.. I miss my baby. Although she’s only five meters away in her room. My 5 months-old baby has grown up.. She’s obviously been feeling secure enough, now that she really can fall asleep in her own bed in her own room. It was my goal..as the nights seemed so long. In the first month, Aurélie could only sleep while breastfeeding or if we bounced her on the…

  • Being a mom,  Life story,  Thoughts,  Travel

    Mommy on indulgence: A Throwback to Our First Two Months..

    Four months postpartum.. Many nights, days and intentions later, I can finally bring myself to write again. There have been so many random words swimming in the back of my head. Due to other priorities and lack of sleep, my head seems to be not in a status, where it’s able to structuring these random words into one proper paragraph. Since le hubby is jogging with the small one, mommy has more or less one and half hour of indulgence time. This indulgence time is usually filled with cleaning the house or cooking and an express shower. But not today. Today (after miraculously 8 hours of sleep!) my head seems…

  • Being an MD,  Life story,  Thoughts

    The pursuit of happiness (3): the beauty of deceleration.

    I was taking a break. When writing, that was supposed to ease my mind, was becoming too exhausting and demanding, I had to stop. So I stopped.. for a while. And now here I am again.   I remembered the first session, how my therapist asked me,”what brings you here? Tell me what has been bothering you”. The room was warm and cozy, her voice was so calm and the atmosphere so peacefully silent. And suddenly the dam broke and my words flushed uncontrollably. She just listened. And after I was finished, she said,”I’m so glad that you are here. I bet it wasn’t easy to let your guard down…

  • Being an MD,  Fashion,  Life story,  Thoughts

    Celine – A thought and a redefinition.

    About a Celine bag. It was winter 2016, precisely on the beginning of January 2016. I was with Clemens in Berlin to celebrate my 30th birthday and the new year. We went to ballet, watching Swan Lake in Friedrichstadt-Palast. We were in Berlin to make my dream come true. My dream was to buy a branded bag as I turned 30. It was set in my head. I had already saved money since I had started to work. It was set in my head, that by the age of 30 I wanted to have a bag, either a Celine or a Chanel bag. As a monument of success. Well I…