Being an MD,  Life story,  Thoughts

My internal battle: Bandung vs. Hannover

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I didn’t have enough of Hannover in the year of my exchange program. I still¬†remember very vividly, how my heart broke into pieces, when the time to come home to Indonesia finally arrived. You don’t want to know, how loud the cry of an 18-year-old girl can be. And yes, that cry might have broken some windows in the Frankfurt airport.. ūüėČ

I spent the last year of high school¬†in SMA 3 Bandung, merely thinking about the time, when I finally could go back to Hannover. When everyone else was busy preparing the final state exam, I was mentally busy preparing my life in Hannover. And this phase was not necessarily easy for my poor parents (I’m sorry mama and papa… ūüôĀ ). I was in a denial phase, yes that even after puberty! I just couldn’t understand, how I could be an Indonesian. At that time I read only german books, I sought contacts in my german friends, I read german news and I listened to german music (well not Schlagermusik.. up to this day, I still am not a big fan of Schlager.. :p). Mentally I was already a German (oje.. wirklich meine armen Eltern..) and there were times, when I couldn’t accept the fact that I am an Indonesian. I wonder, if someone has experienced this kind of situation???

Yet the year went by.. I finished my high school. By wonder I was the second best graduate and I got both a study spot for the medicine faculty at the Universitas Padjadjaran Bandung as well as a spot in Hannover Medical School. I was euphoric, nothing else mattered. I got to go back to Hannover, no matter what! And then came the mental trial. The Germans didn’t give me a student visa.. and I felt utterly¬†betrayed. Why? How? I thought I was the perfect visa applicant. At that time I had the complete support of my German family, I spoke¬†German very well and I already had a place in the university. And the process went on for almost 3 months.. While everyone in my family was doing everything they can to get me into Deutschland, I began studying medicine in Bandung. Those were one of the hardest months in my life. I was forced to give up my dreams and I couldn’t accept¬†it. In these 3 months, my fully packed luggage just sat in my room, unopened..

But thank God I was surrounded by the most wonderful family and friends, who helped me overcoming my sadness. And that is what extraordinary from the Indonesian society. Everyone is just there for you, no matter what. Everyone helps everybody. Everyone is either family or friend.. (L)

Slowly I accepted the fact, that I might have to bury my dream of going back to Hannover. There had to be some reasons behind everything. I started having fun at studying medicine in Bandung. That is the term, which in Indonesian is called “pasrah”.¬†You let go of something and let God¬†show you the way. Believe it or not, just at the moment I let Hannover go, my mother got a phone call from the German embassy saying that my visa had been issued. And so I got¬†on the plane going to Frankfurt¬†with my already packed luggage just 2 days after. And once again, I was on a solo trip back to Germany along with thousands of butterflies in my stomach..

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